Sunday, January 15, 2012

Mom

 - Thanksgiving - two weeks and two days ago my Mom passed away.  We knew it was coming as she was almost 95 years old, and would have been on the 22nd of this month.  But it was still rather quick.  We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with all of our children but one and their families and then Christmas was just as great.  Everything was going along so well then out of the blue we all picked up this dumb stomach flu.  it was such a nasty bug that Glen and I were really ill from it.  Well, it seems so was my Mom.  Then she ended up in the hospital two days later.  She had a trust in place with a DNR attached.  We didn't want Mom to be miserable so decided to keep her in the hospital.  They didn't do anything for Mom except keep her comfortable.  This gave her family a chance to say goodby to her.  The ones near were able to come and spend some time visiting  while the others called and did all they could do from a distance.  I know their struggle was the worst.  My niece had just moved to Arkansas and this was so difficult for her as she was missing her immediate family so much and then to have her grandmother so ill.  When we learned her time was so close all of our girls and their families started to make plans  for coming home.  Our Daughter and her two children were able to drive up from AZ and were here on December 31st.  That was most comforting to have them around, supporting,  commiserating, hugging and sharing a few tears.

I know Mom is much happier now as she was having so many problems and hated the fact that someone else had to do most things for her as she had always been such a independent lady.  There seemed few things she couldn't or at least wouldn't attempt to fix.  Her home was always so nice and clean and she was a great cook.  But at the end, she was unable to do most of these things by herself.  We were blessed to have some very wonderful people coming in that helped her out.  She didn't want to go to an assisted living place but desired to stay in her own home, so this is how it all came to pass.

I am glad her burdens have been lifted from her frail body and that she now can be free of the constraints that have so long frustrated her.  Now she is able to be with her family, parents, sisters and brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends that have all gone before her.  But there is a great whole in my life.  I feel like my reason for doing things has gone away.  Now that may sound so dramatic but the last few years, my sweet husband and myself have had the  opportunity and sometimes burden of taking care of my Mom.  When there were any problems or appointments that needed to be accomplished we were the ones that provided the support.  We had also taken her with us on many trips, not the last while but before.  She enjoyed going on these outings because we usually went to visit with one of our children and their families so that gave her the chance to enjoy them too.  I find every once in a while I reach to call Mom to tell her something that has happened or to just visit to see how she is doing.  I have so closed in my arena of friends that my husband and my Mom were my closest friends and companions.  To have 1/2 of that group gone is very difficult.

To my Mom, I say, I am glad  you are happy and at peace.  You have earned your eternal time with your loved ones.  Until we meet again.  I love you.  Your loving daughter, Pat.