We finally just decided to take the trailer and head out. We went up to St. Charles Canyon as you girls will know all about. We love going up there and were extremely surprised that we were alone in the camp ground for two whole days and then the crowds started to come. Lots of reservations were posted at most of the camping areas. This of course considering Labor Day was fast approaching.
We were right by the river where there are two little water falls. It was so beautiful with yellow flowers and moss and then to be able to listen to the water was just heavenly. It was quite cold up there, the first night it got down to 44 degrees. A bit colder than here at home but we snuggled down under the covers and enjoyed it. The weather warmed up during the day so we didn't even have to wear jackets or long pants. No phones, no TV, just peace and quiet. We did a lot of reading, talking, taking walks and just plain relaxing. G widdled a piece of wood down to the shape of a smoke stack for a little wooden train he got in Europe. Very fun!
We came back all relaxed and ready to do whatever. But wish we were still up there. Such good memories of going up there when our family was younger.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
It's been a while since I was able to write. I talked earlier about going to the caregiver class and how much better I felt. It was really such a great feeling after just one get together. It was like a great pressure had been lifted.
Since then my brother has come back into the picture, he does now and then when it is convenient for him. If I don't call and tell him what is happening and what I plan to do he comes unglued but at the same time he doesn't feel it is important to tell me anything. So I was frustrated with it all and called around and hired a guy to come and fix her sprinkler system. It is working so great! But my brother showed up a few days later and was extremely upset. Why he had made plans to come and look at it and fix it. No, he hadn't called to tell me what he was planning on doing but I guess I'm suppose to "read" his mind. Anyway, it was a nasty phone call and got me all upset again. I worked really hard to put that somewhere else in my mind so as not to have to deal with the ugliness of it.
I talked to Mom this afternoon and something else is wrong, this time with her AC. I told her I thought she would need a new one. Well the guy that had come earlier just didn't do it right according to her. So here we go again. This is the frustrating part, we not only have to take care of her needs but her home's needs also. Which is a big job considering G is taking care of our home and yard and then going up to D to help him with his new garage. Where to go now??
Something on a more pleasant note, today at church in my Gospel Doctrine Class, which I teach we talked about the 2,000 Stripling Warriors. What a joy it must be to have children with such strong testimonies that they are willing to go to defend their country and families. I had not stopped to consider how old these young men were. About the age of our Aaronic Priesthood boys that pass the sacrament. Just think they were so serious and wanted to follow what their Mothers had taught them and they believed completely what the Lord told them to do. I have been blessed with five beautiful, faithful, wonderful daughters. Although, one of them is not active right now, she is still a good person and I have to remind myself. We have also been blessed to have four sons-in-laws that I would take anyone or all of them as my sons. They are all such great guys. They are willing to help us and do anything to be there for us. What more could we ask? Nothing as far as I can see.
Anyway, I am grateful for my family not only our daughters, sons-in-laws but our ten wonderful grandchildren. They are growing up so fast and they have been and are a joy to watch and be around.
Since then my brother has come back into the picture, he does now and then when it is convenient for him. If I don't call and tell him what is happening and what I plan to do he comes unglued but at the same time he doesn't feel it is important to tell me anything. So I was frustrated with it all and called around and hired a guy to come and fix her sprinkler system. It is working so great! But my brother showed up a few days later and was extremely upset. Why he had made plans to come and look at it and fix it. No, he hadn't called to tell me what he was planning on doing but I guess I'm suppose to "read" his mind. Anyway, it was a nasty phone call and got me all upset again. I worked really hard to put that somewhere else in my mind so as not to have to deal with the ugliness of it.
I talked to Mom this afternoon and something else is wrong, this time with her AC. I told her I thought she would need a new one. Well the guy that had come earlier just didn't do it right according to her. So here we go again. This is the frustrating part, we not only have to take care of her needs but her home's needs also. Which is a big job considering G is taking care of our home and yard and then going up to D to help him with his new garage. Where to go now??
Something on a more pleasant note, today at church in my Gospel Doctrine Class, which I teach we talked about the 2,000 Stripling Warriors. What a joy it must be to have children with such strong testimonies that they are willing to go to defend their country and families. I had not stopped to consider how old these young men were. About the age of our Aaronic Priesthood boys that pass the sacrament. Just think they were so serious and wanted to follow what their Mothers had taught them and they believed completely what the Lord told them to do. I have been blessed with five beautiful, faithful, wonderful daughters. Although, one of them is not active right now, she is still a good person and I have to remind myself. We have also been blessed to have four sons-in-laws that I would take anyone or all of them as my sons. They are all such great guys. They are willing to help us and do anything to be there for us. What more could we ask? Nothing as far as I can see.
Anyway, I am grateful for my family not only our daughters, sons-in-laws but our ten wonderful grandchildren. They are growing up so fast and they have been and are a joy to watch and be around.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The Table
This is our new table and chairs. We've had our old ones for like 25 years.We wanted to get some new ones, but we didn't realize these were so "Big". Yes, the showroom strikes again. We do like the chairs even though they are so big, they are lighter to lift than our old ones were. The table is just larger, now I have to find new table cloths. Oh well, we love it and we're going to enjoy it a lot. We'll see what our family thinks.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
You know our party started at 6:30 p.m. and everyone was on time and no one even thought of leaving until after 10:00 p.m. I think our party was a success which was a delight for us. We both worked very hard and everyone was so kind and thoughtful. We had such fun just visiting and eating and then G made the Russell's Special. Wow everyone loved that and wanted to know how to make it. G said afterward if he'd realize how much people would like it he would have told them it was a "Family Secret" which of course, it isn't. Although it should be. Our son-in-law that came up with the idea is very clever and it is without a doubt delicious. Just so refreshing and tasty. Only pineapple sherbet, raspberries and bananas.
After the desert we played a game, hand and foot. We learned this originally from our daughter and son-in-law. They played it a bit differently, of course there were nine of us and that would make the other way difficult.
Our new table worked just lovely for sitting that many but we had to shrink it down to play cards. It was a little crowded but who cares. We also didn't use all of the chairs that came with the table as they are way too big to scoot together. Our folding chairs worked just great.
After the desert we played a game, hand and foot. We learned this originally from our daughter and son-in-law. They played it a bit differently, of course there were nine of us and that would make the other way difficult.
Our new table worked just lovely for sitting that many but we had to shrink it down to play cards. It was a little crowded but who cares. We also didn't use all of the chairs that came with the table as they are way too big to scoot together. Our folding chairs worked just great.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Support Group
Today we went to a support caregiver group. It was great to listen to others and the problems they are experiencing and to know so many are exactly like mine. I received several suggestions of how to go about dealing with my Mom. Most all suggested I walk away and not let her run the show by manipulation or any other way. One lady said she would just call up and ask how she was doing and if she said she was really bad, tell her the door bell just rang and I had to go. This ladies Mom was there and she is in the beginning stages of Alzheimers . In fact there were two ladies that had this problem with their husbands too. The lady that it was her Mom has been bringing her to the meetings to help her with transitioning to an assisted living situation.
I was concerned that because Mom doesn't live with me that I was not really experiencing the caregiver type of burn out. But there were several others that didn't live with the people they did care giving for. That helped out a lot to hear. One lady and her husband had sold their house and her mother's house and bought a house together. Mom lives upstairs and they live down. That lady would keep nodding every time I said something that she was dealing with. She is a quiet lady but I could sense that this had been very difficult for her and her husband.
I didn't realize this would be so tiring to go to this. It was only an hour but I am exhausted. We are having a party with about four couples from our neighborhood tonight here at our house. I have been working as has G trying to get things ready. I am looking forward to making changes in my life. I know it will be a welcome change for G also. This party tonight is the beginning of doing things for us.
I was concerned that because Mom doesn't live with me that I was not really experiencing the caregiver type of burn out. But there were several others that didn't live with the people they did care giving for. That helped out a lot to hear. One lady and her husband had sold their house and her mother's house and bought a house together. Mom lives upstairs and they live down. That lady would keep nodding every time I said something that she was dealing with. She is a quiet lady but I could sense that this had been very difficult for her and her husband.
I didn't realize this would be so tiring to go to this. It was only an hour but I am exhausted. We are having a party with about four couples from our neighborhood tonight here at our house. I have been working as has G trying to get things ready. I am looking forward to making changes in my life. I know it will be a welcome change for G also. This party tonight is the beginning of doing things for us.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
August 13, 2008
I have been thinking about where I am in my life and how I got here. I have been so blessed to have such sweet and caring daughters and I have an incredible husband whom I would not have wanted to take this journey without.
He is kind and loving and I know he is always on my side. It's really great to know you are loved unconditionally and that is the kind of love I've gotten from him.
I didn't grow up with this type of love, in fact I really didn't think I was loved at all until I gave birth to our first daughter and he was so concerned over what I had been through to bring her into this world. I knew he had been there with me all the way. Even though back then he couldn't go into the delivery room with me.
I grew up wondering who I was and why I was put here on this earth. I don't remember much happiness only critical comments all of the time. A lot of fighting between my parents was also very common, so being married to the man I am has been a joy ride for me because he loves me and I love him.
Right now we are going through a difficult time with my mom. She is 91 years old and has worked hard all of her life but now she is having problems and just doesn't know how to cope with it. She is a very manipulative person and has been very good at it. I have finally reached a point that I can't deal with this anymore. After 66 years there is no more in me to handle this and I feel so much weight on my shoulders. My brother isn't willing to see that she needs to be in a place where they can help her and she can find things to be involved with. She has always been very social and now that she can't go as she would like, she takes it out on us. She thinks I should be up there with her at least 3-4 times a week. There for a while I was doing it but I realize I have had no life of my own. Just being there or worrying about what my mom needed. No, I am not a saint nor do I want to give that impression. I just need a break without feeling guilty for doing anything on our own.
This is without a doubt the most difficult thing I have had to do in my life. Even raising our five daughters can't compare. Of course I was much younger then too but this is hard to become the "mom" instead of the daughter. I know I'm not the first to experience this but I hope I am learning what "not" to do as I age. I have warned several of them to tell me if I get this way and remind me.
He is kind and loving and I know he is always on my side. It's really great to know you are loved unconditionally and that is the kind of love I've gotten from him.
I didn't grow up with this type of love, in fact I really didn't think I was loved at all until I gave birth to our first daughter and he was so concerned over what I had been through to bring her into this world. I knew he had been there with me all the way. Even though back then he couldn't go into the delivery room with me.
I grew up wondering who I was and why I was put here on this earth. I don't remember much happiness only critical comments all of the time. A lot of fighting between my parents was also very common, so being married to the man I am has been a joy ride for me because he loves me and I love him.
Right now we are going through a difficult time with my mom. She is 91 years old and has worked hard all of her life but now she is having problems and just doesn't know how to cope with it. She is a very manipulative person and has been very good at it. I have finally reached a point that I can't deal with this anymore. After 66 years there is no more in me to handle this and I feel so much weight on my shoulders. My brother isn't willing to see that she needs to be in a place where they can help her and she can find things to be involved with. She has always been very social and now that she can't go as she would like, she takes it out on us. She thinks I should be up there with her at least 3-4 times a week. There for a while I was doing it but I realize I have had no life of my own. Just being there or worrying about what my mom needed. No, I am not a saint nor do I want to give that impression. I just need a break without feeling guilty for doing anything on our own.
This is without a doubt the most difficult thing I have had to do in my life. Even raising our five daughters can't compare. Of course I was much younger then too but this is hard to become the "mom" instead of the daughter. I know I'm not the first to experience this but I hope I am learning what "not" to do as I age. I have warned several of them to tell me if I get this way and remind me.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Caregiver
I decided to come into this century and learn to blog. Su started it and then K has one so now it's M turn.
Today we are going to a caregiver class support group. I feel the need to extend myself out there. This is really uncomfortable for me so we'll see how things go. My Mom is not in my home but we are there sometimes three or four times a week. It's either fixing her Ac, furnace, lawn, sprinklers, porch, outside furniture not to mention food, medicine, doctor or having accidents. Doing her bills or handling problems she has with bills. I don't feel like I have a life of my own anymore. Hopefully this class will help.
Today we are going to a caregiver class support group. I feel the need to extend myself out there. This is really uncomfortable for me so we'll see how things go. My Mom is not in my home but we are there sometimes three or four times a week. It's either fixing her Ac, furnace, lawn, sprinklers, porch, outside furniture not to mention food, medicine, doctor or having accidents. Doing her bills or handling problems she has with bills. I don't feel like I have a life of my own anymore. Hopefully this class will help.
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