Working on Mom's decks now. She is getting new carpet on Thursday so the old had to come off along with the nasty old glue. G has been up there most of yesterday and a few hours today. He has it just about ready. Of course, K came up and acted like a teenager throwing a temper tantrum. Yes, life around him is fun? Mom called him up to come and help G to get things ready, as he didn't know anything about it, he was of course livid. He had his plans all made so what is going on and since we're throwing money around right and left? Anyway, he came and grabbed and bent and pulled and did his best to act like a true "A" and then jumped in his car the minute I got there bringing lunch, and ran away. How can a 50 some year old act so ridiculous? I know it's because he hasn't had any kids to smooth out his corners and activate his maturity. Of course, his hair is turning white but it hasn't helped his "problems". Oh and did I say, G has saved Mom almost a $1,000.

I feel like Mom enjoys these things, she sits them up and then acts all upset and wonders why they are happening. As I look back I realize she has done these things all of her life and probably doesn't even realize what's she's doing now. Just can't excuse it though, even if she is 91. Her greatest excuse is that she is 91.

There are times I want to run away and pretend I'm adopted - funny thing about that when I was a little girl I told the neighbor I was adopted. Funny how kids see things we adults take so long to see.

I wish I could figure a way not to react to her and my brother's stupid actions. In my patrihical (spelling) blessing I am told I should be a peace maker and honor my parents. Well, it's getting more difficult all of the time to do these things. G thinks it's about time I've reached this point but those words just keep coming back to me and the guilt factor rises up. I do love my family, somewhere in me, it's just right now I'm having problems feeling it.

We are planning on going on a trip to visit K & J & C and then down to S & G & N & H. While we are gone I hope to be able to find someone I can pay to come and take Mom shopping to get her groceries and pick up her meds. I know she won't be happy with this but at least I'll know she can get them taken care of. K would do it but he makes everything such a production and acts all out of joint if he has to do anything he hasn't sit up himself. If it were his idea I'm sure it would be fine but I just can't bring myself to deal with him since he called and blew up. Yes, I know - COWARD!

Thank you for being there and reading this - it helps to write it out.